Should I learn to speak with an American or British accent?

I have mastered the British accent spoken by the upper classes in Britain. It is called Received Pronunciation (RP).

Then I went to the USA, New York and researched American accents. What I have found out is that the most sophisticated General American accent is close to British RP.

I personally prefer British RP as it is regarded in the world more, but if you plan to live in the JUSA then I recommend that you master the General American accent. When I was in the airport restaurant in the USA and asked to bring me a fork the waiter could not understand me as I pronounced it in the British way

/fɔ:k/ without /r/ sound. Americans always pronounce /r/ sounds whilst British RP is not pronounced when producing three long vowels /ɑː/ as “car”. /ɔː/ as in “fork”, /ɜː/ as in “Sir” and in three diphthongs /eə/ as in “pair”, /ɪə/ as in “ear”, and /ʊə/ as in “sure”.

Another point is that Brish is more crisp because in RP consonants are well articulated. For example, in the American accent where the /t/ sound is between two vowel sounds as in “later” is pronounced as fast /d/ In British RP is a well-articulated /t/ sound.

I have developed and published apps for both British RP and General American.

You can it with the apps ‎‎Elocution Lessons, Get Rid of your Accent UK1, ‎Business English Speech and ‎Fluent English Speech (British English) or ‎American Accent App and ‎Fluent American Speech (American English), and Power, Pitch, Pace, Pause. There are also two accompanying video courses: Get Rid of your Accent Part 1 and Get rid of your Accent Part 2.

The same apps are also available on Google Play. They are based on bestselling books in the series Get Rid of your Accent and have audio and recording buttons.

More on Get Rid of your Accent | Elocution Lessons

Who's more eloquent Stephen Fry or Russell Brand?

Stephen Fry is more eloquent. Russell Brand is very witty but he has speech inadequacies, he does not know how to articulate the /r/ sound as in ”red”; he produces this sound using lips and pronounces /w/ instead of /r/. He would say “wed, wed woses” instead of “red, red roses”.

Speech organs position for the English /r/ sound:
The tip of the tongue curls back slightly in the roof of the mouth, just behind the alveolar ridge, and the breath squeezes past whilst the tongue is still and not vibrating.

There are other pronunciations of the letter "r" or sound /r/:
In other languages, the letter "r" is pronounced differently from English.
For example, the French vibrate the tongue towards the back of the mouth.
Russians, however slightly vibrate the tip of the tongue very quickly as the breath passes through.

In our experience of teaching speech, the English /r/sound is particularly difficult for Japanese and Chinese students. They often pronounce the /r/ sound using their lips and the result is the /r/ sound replaced with a /w/. Russell Brand does the same.

Tips to pronounce the /r/ sound correctly:

·        Do not vibrate your tongue, keep your tongue still

·        Do not use the lips to pronounce /r/

·        Practice lesson 41 and articulation tongue exercises with our apps Get Rid of your Accent UK1, Elocution Lessons and Business English Speech.

More on Get Rid of your Accent | Elocution Lessons

How effective are the accent reduction training programs?

The answer to this question depends on three factors:

  1. The teacher’s competence and work experience

  2. The student’s ability to hear the differences in sounds and the amount of time and effort he/she is putting into the accent reduction process

  3. The quality of training material: books, apps, video courses

Which teachers to choose?
Accent reduction should be taught by a qualified speech tutor (in the past speech tutors were called elocution teachers). A qualified speech tutor knows how sounds are produced in the mouth, the exact position of the tongue, lips and jaw for a particular sound. This is the key. To achieve the best results book a few elocution lessons.

What is expected of a student?
To reduce an accent one must substitute old habits of speaking with new ones which takes time and effort. It is a process. Usually, we recommend mastering a sound minimum for a week. Some sounds are easier and some may take longer to master. For example, /w/ sound does not exist in Russian. It is produced with lips going forward in a tight whistle and requires certain lip muscles. If the muscles are not trained it might take a while to train them to produce an energised /w/ sound. It’s a bit like going to the gym. If I tell you to go to the gym and come with a six-pack after one session you know that it will not happen. It is important to practice regularly, every day for 15-45 minutes rather than two hours once a week.

How to practice? Which books and apps to use?
I recommend that you download professional accent reduction apps ‎Get Rid of your Accent UK1 and ‎Fluent English Speech (British English) or ‎American Accent App and ‎Fluent American Speech (American English).
There is also an Elocution Lessons app to master essential English and a Business English Speech app that contains business vocabulary (both are for British English).
All the above apps have accompanying video courses, Get Rid of your Accent Part One and Get Rid of your Accent Part Two.

It is also a good idea to listen to good RP speakers, copy a section at a time, and record yourself.

More on www.batcsglobal.com

Voiced and unvoiced sounds in English

It is very important to distinguish between voiced and unvoiced sounds in English due to two reasons:

  1. To be aware of the difference

  2. To be understood

All vowels and diphthongs are voiced.

Unvoiced sounds are easier to pronounce because they are made with breath only:
[s] soup, [p] pick, [t] tick, [k] kick, [tʃ] church., [ʃ] shoe, [f] fan, [θ] think.

When pronouncing voiced sounds extra effort is required because they are made with vibrations of vocal cords: [z] zoo, [b] bubble, [d] dog, [g] giggle, [dʒ] George, [ʒ] rouge, [v] van, [ð] that, [l] lock, [m] meter, [n] nun, [ŋ] king.
Because an extra effort is required, many students substitute voiced consonants with their unvoiced partners, particularly at the end of the word. Moreover, in some languages, for example, German and Russian it is not a pronunciation mistake to substitute a voiced consonant with its unvoiced partner: “dog” may sound like “dok”, or “bed” like “bet”. In English, as you can see from these examples, the meaning of the word changes if you do not observe voiced consonants.

In English, plurals and past tense are identified by word endings.
Rule: If the sound before the ending is unvoiced, then the ending will be unvoiced too. If the sound before the ending is voiced, then the ending will be voiced.:
Plurals: cats /s/, kicks /s/, dogs /z/, beds /z/
Past tense: kicked /t/, picked /t/, begged /d/, dragged /d/

It is rather difficult to pronounce consonants at the end of the word in English for some nationalities such as Spanish and Chinese. They tend not to pronounce the ending at all. This creates an impression that they do not know English grammar, namely how to create plurals and past tense. Because of that, their speech may sound uneducated.

We recommend practicing voiced and unvoiced consonants with the apps ‎Get Rid of your Accent UK1 and ‎Fluent English Speech (British English) or ‎American Accent App and ‎Fluent American Speech (American English) and book a couple of elocution lessons.

More on www.batcsglobal.com

Be in control and exude authority

Good barristers, politicians and business leaders sound confident, in control and have authority in their speech and voice. Can it be mastered? Yes, and I will explain how.

First of all, in order to achieve authority in your voice be in control of your breathing. Good breath control will bring energy to your voice.

Secondly, good articulation will help you sound clear, more energised and powerful. You can master it with the apps ‎Get Rid of your Accent UK1 (British English) or ‎American Accent App (American English).‎

Thirdly, avoid sounding monotonous and saying everything on one level of pitch. Change the pitch, power and pace according to the emotion/meaning of a particular message. We can recommend the app 4Ps, Power, Pitch, Pace, Pause if you want to learn and practice this technique.

To achieve authority, speak in a straightforward way and stress the key messages. To make the keywords stand out use a louder or quieter voice (depending on the meaning). Raise the inflection when saying keywords and vice versa, use downward inflection with unstressed words. Learn more about inflecltion and sentence stress in the apps ‎Fluent English Speech (British English) or Fluent American Speech (American English).

Finally, think about physicality and be well in control of your posture and gestures. Have a good straight posture and gestures that support your messages.

What is the best way to practice it? Listen to speakers like Winston Churchill. Watch courtroom dramas and note how effective barristers speak. Here is a practical exercise for you:

  1. Read a speech out loud and record yourself.

  2. Underline stresses keywords and mark pauses in the printed copy of the speech. You can learn how to do it right with the app Power, Pitch, Pace, Pause.

  3. Read the speech again and record yourself. If necessary repeat this exercise a few times.

If you need help book a few elocution lessons.

More on www.batcsglobal.com

Android Apps to master English speech

British English:

Elocution Lessons - Apps on Google Play
This app is ideal for children and people who just started learning English. This app has 48 lessons. It contains short, commonly used phrases, sentences and verses that are easy to repeat and it also has useful tips for teachers of English. It is actually useful for everyone as it contains essential, everyday English.

Get Rid of Your Accent - Apps on Google Play
This app is ideal if you want to get rid of a regional or foreign accent and to speak with Standard English or RP (Received Pronunciation). It has 42 lessons; it contains effective practical exercises to perfect all English sounds and perfect your articulation.

Fluent English Speech - Apps on Google Play
This app is a follow-up to the Get Rid of your Accent app.  It is ideal if you want to develop fluency in English and sound more like a native English speaker. It contains exercises for difficult and connected speech patterns, natural flow of speech, intonation, sentence stress and onomatopoeia. 

Business English Speech - Apps on Google Play
This app was designed for top-level professionals, diplomats and lawyers. It is the only app on the market that has both English pronunciation and business vocabulary training. It contains 43 lessons with material gathered from interviews with CEOs, CFOs and MDs of global companies and helps to develop proficiency in English.

Power, Pitch, Pace, Pause - Apps on Google Play
This app is ideal if you want to get rid of monotonous speech and become a successful presenter and public speaker. It contains practical exercises for voice modulation and the use of pauses.

Get Rid of Chinese Accent - Apps on Google Play
This app is the same as the app Get Rid of your Accent with an additional bonus - Chinese translations.

General American English:

American Accent App - Apps on Google Play
This app is ideal if you want to get rid of a foreign or regional accent and master Standard American accent. It has 42 lessons. It contains effective practical exercises to perfect all American English sounds.

Fluent American Speech - Apps on Google Play
This app is a follow-up to the American Accent App. It is ideal to develop fluency in your American English speech. It contains exercises for difficult and connected speech patterns, natural flow of speech, intonation and sentence stress

More on www.batcsglobal.com

Learn to communicate your emotions and feelings

I have noticed that many of us were not educated to communicate emotions and feelings. Instead, we were taught "how to think right." In kindergarten, school, university and then at work, even in the family, we learned how to think and speak appropriately.

The thing is we are not robots; we are humans with feelings and emotions. In Western civilization, we learned how to neglect our feelings and just say "the right thing." We learned that expressing vulnerability is a weakness and that being tough is a real strength. Is it? I am not so sure about it.

We often communicate the feeling of frustration with anger and aggression. In England, where I live, it is very fashionable to express feelings in a passive-aggressive way. In other words, acting nicely but with hidden aggression. Is there a need to be aggressive or passive-aggressive? Is there a better way? How can we do it differently?

Where does the aggression come from? In my opinion, the basis of aggression is judgment. What often happens is we see that someone breaks "a rule" that we expected he/she should observe, and we are quick to judge and then may even attack that person. We evaluate, judge and attack.

What if we stop evaluating and simply observe? Instead of judging, we start observing other people's speech and observing our own reaction to it and what feelings and emotions we have at that moment. This process takes time. If we do this exercise on a regular basis it will become automatic. It will substitute our reactive/aggressive responses to communicating our observations in a calm, measured way. When communicating, it is much better if we look at the person with compassion rather than with judgment.

Observation is neutral, whilst judgment is negative. When we feel negative, our body reacts in a certain way: we get tense, become stiff, and shorten breathing. By pausing, relaxing your body and breathing correctly you will help yourself to communicate your emotions as observations.

Many students who take our elocution lessons often tell us that they want to become more confident. Feeling confident is expressed by your body language, voice and words. The key to confidence is calmness, feeling relaxed and at the same time in control of your emotions.

You can find useful breathing exercises and how you can use your intonation and voice to express different feelings and emotions in the book Get Rid of your Accent Part Two, Advanced Level and the apps Fluent English Speech and 4Ps, Power, Pitch, Pace, Pause.

 More on www.batcsglobal.com

Annoying speech patterns

  1. Going round in circles
    It is so annoying when a person says something and then repeats it again and again. It is rather tiring when someone cannot stop expressing one idea and keeps repeating it endlessly. Such speech makes the speaker sound rather stupid.

  2. Beating about the bush
    I know people who can speak for a long time and not really say much. Such speech lacks concreteness and sounds lightweight. My friend calls such speakers “cappuccino people”. Such speech makes the speaker sound rather shallow.

  3. Monotonous speech
    Monotonous speech is so boring. As a result, listeners switch off very quickly. It also makes a speaker sound rather dull. The monotonous speech also lacks emotion and the speaker may sound like a robot. Actors learn how to modulate their voice in drama schools. You can master voice modulation with our book Get Rid of your Accent Part Two, Advance Level which is based on drama school training.

  4. Rushed speech
    The human brain absorbs information slower than someone transforms it which is why rushed speech is difficult to follow. During our elocution lessons, we teach our students how to slow down the pace of the speech and use pauses in order to make their speech easy and interesting to listen to.

  5. Paracite-words such as “eeeh”, “em”, “like”, “basically”, “you know”, “so”, etc.
    People often use parasite words to connect sentences and speak in paragraphs. When the speaker does not make pauses between sentences and speaks in paragraphs listeners cannot concentrate after the first idea and switch off. The full stop was invented to separate sentences and ideas. The pause between them allows listeners to absorb one idea at a time and get ready for the next one. You can practise this with our book Get Rid of your Accent Part Two, Advance Level.

  6. Wooly speech that lacks clarity
    Such speech creates a considerable disadvantage for both the speaker and the listener. The speaker is perceived as uneducated and lacking confidence and the listener is frustrated as he/she cannot understand what is said. To overcome wooly speech start articulation exercises with our bestselling book Get Rid of your Accent Part One .

    More on www.batcsglobal.com

How can developing your communication skills lead to financial opportunities?

The primary purpose of communication is to understand others and be understood. There are additional purposes as well such as informing, persuading, selling, introducing yourself to others, inspiring, entertaining, etc.
There are different situations where communication is a key tool.
People who take our elocution lessons prepare for their job interviews, presenting to potential investors, court performances (as barristers), negotiations, teaching, etc. I have noticed one thing in common among our students: they are all high achievers who need good communication skills.

People who buy our books and apps and take our elocution lessons and course tell us their reasons why they need good communication skills. Here are just a few.

  1. They lack confidence when presenting

  2. They feel that their colleagues do not always understand what they are saying and it can be disruptive and even frustrating at work.

  3. They are not invited to meetings and they cannot chair projects because of difficult-to-understand speech

  4. They are not getting promoted and as a result, do not have a pay rise

  5. They cannot get higher-paid jobs where they need to present, chair meetings and discussions

After our elocution lessons and practising with our books and apps their speech and life changed for the better:

  1. They feel confident when speaking and become successful at work

  2. They get better jobs and their salary increases

  3. They enjoy their work more including chairing meetings, presenting and speaking in public

To date, we have five books and nine iOS and nine Android apps plus two video courses for speech mastery. If you master your communication skills you will be able to get jobs, build successful business relations and grow your business.

More on Get Rid of your Accent | Elocution Lessons

141. Why leaders should talk less and listen more

One of the most important tasks of a leader is to take decisions. In order to make good decisions leaders need information from others. The more silent they are, the more they are able to hear. Active listening without interrupting will enable leaders to notice finer details, particularly if they will pay attention to the intonation and voice. They will also be able to notice nonverbal or body language signals, gather valuable information and have a bigger picture of a situation. That will be useful for taking better decisions.

The second task of a leader is to lead people of different abilities, identify their strengths and use these strengths successfully. Active listening does help understand people better.

Finally, not giving away too much and being economical with words is a very useful tool in establishing a powerful position, particularly in negotiation, business meetings with rivals, etc. “The person who cannot control his words shows he cannot control himself and therefore unworthy of respect” (Don Corleone, God Father). If one wants to assume a position of power he/she should always say less than necessary.

According to R. Greene, “the game of power is in many ways the game of appearances. When you say less than necessary you inevitably appear more powerful than you are which is the key to establishing the aura of power”. How does saying less than necessary gives you an advantage? R. Greene suggests that “your silence will make other people uncomfortable. Humans are machines of interpretation and explanation, they have to know what you are thinking. When you carefully control what you reveal people cannot pierce your intentions or your meaning”.

Remember, if you are in a leading position, your words are extremely powerful and every word counts. Once the words are out you cannot take them back. They can be used for you or against you. Your brief answers and silence will put people on the defensive and they will be trying to fill the gaps you left with all sorts of comments that might reveal valuable information about them and their weaknesses. Moreover, when people try to share as much information as possible they often say things that are not appropriate for the context and may appear silly as a result.

I personally have noticed that keeping silent is hard and in order to make myself comfortable I may start making small talk and if the other person is not saying much I feel weak, I try to talk more and say things I do not really need to say. In this situation, I make myself desperate for approval. I feel like people who use silence with me rob me of my power.

I noticed that if one has a tendency to talk a lot it takes quite an effort to control this urge. It will take time, effort and mastery to possess the art of keeping silent and saying less than necessary.

I practice simple techniques to overcome my urge to talk a lot:

  1. When planning a day I make a written note that programs me to reduce my speaking time by 80%

  2. I make an effort to engage in active listening

  3. I wear a bracelet that reminds me that I should control my urge to speak a lot

  4. Instead of speaking, I use eye contact and other body language signs to interact with others, I let others speak more

  5. I speak only when it is absolutely necessary and I try to keep silent otherwise.

  6. Before saying anything I ask myself: is it necessary? how it can be interpreted? what are the dangers and consequences of my words?

More on www.batcsglobal.com

140. What are some tips for improving public speaking and presentation skills?

In my opinion, the qualities that are important for a public speaker and presenter are :

1. Good straight posture which creates a confident image

2. Great eye contact which the audience

3. Good articulation and clear speech

4. Good voice projection so that people could hear him/her

5. Ability to explain his/her topic in an accessible simple way so that people with different abilities can understand it

6. Ability to structure the speech and prioritise the important points to fit the set time

7. Ability to ask questions that encourage audience to interact with the speaker

I would like to give the following recommendations for a public speaker and presenter:

1. Avoid parasite words, swear words, and fillers like “so, you know, basically, like, em, ah”. People use these words when they are thinking and speaking at the same time. Simply substitute these unnecessary words with pauses

2. Use pauses to separate your ideas, do not say all of them in one breath and allow your students to digest one idea at a time. If you speak without pauses, your student

3. Speak about profound things using simple language

4. Get to the point. Avoid beating about the bush

5. Do not jump from one topic to another, use logic and finish one thought at a time.

6. Ask questions and let students do the talking

7. Download apps, books and video courses to master your speech and public speaking skills

iOS Apps: (the same apps are available on Google Play)

1. ‎Get Rid of your Accent UK1 and Fluent English Speech (British English)‎

2. American Accent App and Fluent American Speech (General American English)‎

3. ‎‎Business English Speech‎

4. Power, Pitch, Pace, Pause

5 Paperback, Kindle and Audio books to master English:

1. Get Rid of Your Accent: The English Pronunciation and Speech Training Manual

2. Advanced Level (Pt. 2) (Get Rid of Your Accent: The English Speech Training Manual)

3. Get Rid of Your Accent for Business: The English Pronunciation and Speech

4. GET RID OF YOUR ACCENT, PART ONE AND TWO: GENERAL AMERICAN SPEECH TRAINING MANUAL, Second Edition

2 Video Courses to master English speech:

Get Rid of your Accent Part One and Get Rid of your Accent Part Two

More on Get Rid of your Accent | Elocution Lessons

139. How can you improve your negotiation skills?

Here is advice from my personal experience which might help you to master your negotiation skills.

  1. Setting clear goals you want to achieve as a result of a negotiation and writing down your strategy for achieving them.

  2. Projecting power, leadership and credible image. Avoid sounding greedy, be honest and straight. Be in control of your urges to talk too much.

  3. Active listening and tuning into your negotiation partner, paying attention to the intonation and voice; understanding their needs and aspirations. This is different from passive listening where you hear the speaker but fail to retain the information. The more silent you are the more you are able to hear.

  4. Communicating clearly and to the point to keep your audience’s attention. This skill is particularly important when speaking on the phone. You can achieve this skill by performing speech exercises with the apps ‎Get Rid of your Accent UK1 and Fluent English Speech.

  5. Thinking bigger. Often, when negotiating, each party is striving to get the biggest “slice of the pie” possible. If one party gets more then the other will get less. To break free of this traditional idea of negotiation, experts suggest shifting your goals from growing your slice to growing the whole pie. In this case, each party can get more than expected. Moreover, it will create the grounds for establishing rapport and trust for future business deals and collaborations. based on a win-win scenario

More on www.batcsglobal.com

138. Can speaking positively help someone develop a positive mindset?

The short answer is yes, it will help. The most important factor in creating a positive mindset is working on fostering a positive attitude. A positive attitude then is supported by using positive vocabulary.

Let me explain how it works. When you speak you program yourself and a positive talk will create not only a positive mindset but also positive events in your life.

By talking positively your focus will be on positive things thus you will magnify good things and create your own positive reality.

There are several realities that take place at the same time starting from the most negative like war, death, fear, and to the most positive like feeling optimistic, falling in love and enjoying peace.

One person who tends to talk about negative things and use negative language might find him/herself feeling sad, fearful and at a low energy level.

Another person who is optimistic and who wants to discuss successes and victories, beauty and prosperity will be at a high energy level which will be instrumental in bringing great things into his/her life.

More on www.batcsglobal.com

137. Qualities that are important for a lecturer

What makes a good lecturer? A good lecturer is effective in transmitting information from himself/herself to the audience. A good lecturer is a competent public speaker and subject matter expert. The objectives of a lecturer are different from a public speaker in that a lecturer has to facilitate the transmission and retention of information.

In my opinion, the qualities that are important for a lecturer are:

1.       Good straight posture which creates a confident image

2.       Great eye contact which connects the lecturer to his/her students

3.       Good articulation and clear speech

4.       Good voice projection so that students could hear him/her

5.       Ability to explain his/her subject in an accessible simple way so that students with different abilities can understand it

6.       Ability to structure the lecture and prioritise the important topics/points to fit the set time of the lecture

7.       Ability to ask questions that encourage students to interact with the lecturer

 I would like to give the following recommendations for lecturers:

1.       Avoid parasite words, swear words, and fillers like “so, you know, basically, like, em, ah”. People use these words when they are thinking and speaking at the same time. Simply substitute these unnecessary words with pauses

2.   Use pauses to separate your ideas, do not say all of them in one breath and allow your students to digest one idea at a time. If you speak without pauses, your student

3.   Speak about profound things using simple language

4.   Get to the point. Avoid beating about the bush

5.   Do not jump from one topic to another, use logic and finish one thought at a time.

6.   Ask questions and let students do the talking

7.   Download apps, books and video courses to master your speech and public speaking skills

 iOS Apps:

1.       ‎Get Rid of your Accent UK1 and Fluent English Speech (British English)‎

2.       American Accent App and Fluent American Speech (General American English)‎

3.       ‎‎Business English Speech‎

4.       Power, Pitch, Pace, Pause

 5 Paperback, Kindle and Audio books to master English:

1.       Get Rid of Your Accent: The English Pronunciation and Speech Training Manual

2.       Advanced Level (Pt. 2) (Get Rid of Your Accent: The English Speech Training Manual)

3.       Get Rid of Your Accent for Business: The English Pronunciation and Speech

4.       GET RID OF YOUR ACCENT, PART ONE AND TWO: GENERAL AMERICAN SPEECH TRAINING MANUAL, Second Edition

 2 Video Courses to master English speech:

Get Rid of your Accent Part One and Get Rid of your Accent Part Two

More on www.batcsglobal.com

136. What is the line between confident and arrogant?

Quite often people ask me how they can be confident and what is the difference between confodent and arrogant. I will explain it by outlining the features of confident people first.

Confident people:

1. Feel they are not better or worse than others. Nobody is perfect and confident people accept themselves and others with strengths and weaknesses, therefore they are friendly with all people.

2. Have good listening skills. They use 3D listening which means they are paying attention to how people perceive their messages, understand who they are speaking to, and establish a rapport. It is important to pay attention to the intonation and voice. They respect others’ opinions.

2. Do not ask anybody's opinion about their appearance. People, who constantly ask: “Do I look good? Do you like my hair?” demonstrate self-doubt which is the opposite of self-confidence.

3. If they do not like something say it right then and there in a calm respectful way. You can learn to do it with the app Power,Pitch, Pace,Pause. 
Often when people feel emotional they tend to raise the voice. It would be very effective to do the opposite. If they drop the pitch and slow down it will help them to be more in control and project authority.

4. Do not try to prove anything to anybody. When people try to prove themselves they often speak fast and try to say all they know in a short period of time. Confidence people do not speak a lot, answer only those questions that are being asked of them. They make their answers clear and stress the key messages. You can learn about it with the apps Get Rid of your Accent and Fluent English Speech.

Arrogance is the opposite of confidence. It is just a shield to hide insecurities. “Arrogance can be defined as the personality trait whereby a person has an obnoxiously elevated sense of self-worth”

Arrogant people use arrogance as their defence mechanism because underneath they suffer from low self-esteem. They compensate their inner inferiority at the expense of others:

1.       They worry what others think about them, as a result, they act so that they can stand out and feel that they are better than others

2.       They ignore other people opinions, talk over others and cannot accept feedback. Often, when they talk to others, they do not have the patience to listen. They hear a few words and very quickly they start thinking about what they can say to dominate that person and appear more clever.

3.       They do not try to connect with people, as a result, their relationships are superficial.

This morning I went horseriding. One of the ladies who was on our group hack did not say “hello”, I felt her attitude was rather arrogant and unfriendly. During the hack, she fell off her horse. That was the lesson that arrogance was punished.

More on www.batcsglobal.com

135. How can I get my old confidence back?

Mike Tyson once said: “everybody has a plan until they get their first punch”. People and circumstances might have been your punches that led you to lose your confidence.

What I think will help get your confidence back is to start loving yourself regardless of anything you ever hear about yourself. Be true to yourself, do not try to be a people pleaser, instead please yourself.
Do not react - act instead.
Do not allow others to influence your behavior and your reactions.
Sort out your financial situation and work on projects that bring you the biggest profit. Do not waste your time in low-paid jobs. Think about how you can make even more money in future.

Become disciplined and master it with regular sports activities.
Sleep well, eat well and make sure you have plenty of energy. Stop consuming alcohol and stop smoking if you drink and smoke now.
Do not consume too much information, instead produce yourself. Be an active doer rather than a passive consumer with informational obesity.
Talk less, do more.

Get rid of people who try to diminish you.

More on www.batcsglobal.com

134. How can you show off your skills in an interview without sounding arrogant or cocky?

a) Observe general job interview rules:

1. When you speak do not over-vocalise, speak calmly and naturally.
2. Make your answers concise, go straight to the point and do not beat about the bush. “Brevity is the soul of wit” W. Shakespear, Hamlet a quote from Polonius's character. Meaning conciseness is at the heart of cleverness.
3. Keep a straight posture and maintain good eye contact. It will help you to create a strong presence.

b) Observe social dos and don'ts.

English society is class orientated and there is a pecking order to observe. For example, ordinary people cannot approach Royalty first, they have to wait for the Royalty to start talking to them. That trickles down to the other layers of society. People senior in social and business positions are expected to start a conversation.

It is advisable to not be pushy.

I have noticed, that some people try to talk a lot, and make silly jokes in order to feel comfortable. In my opinion, it is better to not say much and listen and smile more. I recommend using pauses. Once you mentioned one of your strengths, pause and observe the reaction of your interviewer. Allow people who interview you time and space to absorb your ideas one at a time. Learn how to use pauses with the app 4Ps, Power,Pitch,Pace,Pause.

More on www.batcglobal.com 

133. Are you born charismatic or you can learn how to be charismatic?

Two words come to mind when talking about charisma: freedom and individuality. In my opinion, people are born with charisma, the essence of their individuality is charisma.

What happens to kids later is that their individuality is suppressed by social rules and so-called “standards”. Parents, teachers and friends advise how to be “nice and beautiful”. Kids lose their individuality and become comfortable for others. They forget their authentic selves. They become afraid to be themselves. They are no longer feel free.

Many people think that having a perfect appearance, great social skills and being liked are the components of charisma. Nowadays, many girls choose to get rid of their individuality and spend a fortune on cosmetic procedures to look like Angelina Jolie. They think if they look perfect everybody will like them. They end up looking cloned which is the opposite of charisma.

Charisma is being special and different from others in a bit exaggerated way. Let’s have a look at some examples. If we talk about appearance, it can be a birthmark on your face (Robert De Niro) or a big nose (Barbara Streisand). A person’s character can be a part of his/her charisma: being brutally honest and funny (Ricky Gervais) or ostentatiously well-spoken and ironic (Steven Fry). As you can see all these features are a bit exaggerated so that others notice them straight away.

If you want to develop charisma, do not try to look or be perfect. Instead, find what makes you unique and accentuate it, accentuate your individual forms and features.

Go back to your childhood and celebrate your inner child, do what you want and feel like doing. Do not be afraid of what others think of you. Feel free to be bold!

More on Get Rid of your Accent | Elocution Lessons