The ability to own the respect of others is connected to our survival instinct. By and large, people respect us if they can rely on us, trust us, and see that we are useful to them.
I like observing people’s behaviour and reactions. I want to share with you my observations on the topic of respect.
People respect us unconsciously if we possess the following qualities:
1. Straight back and good posture - a sign of physical and spiritual strength
2. Confident eye contact and open gestures. These non-verbal clues signify openness and honesty. People who lie and lack confidence often cannot look straight in the eyes
3. Decent clothes and shoes, groomed appearance. This is the sign of high self-esteem
4. Good, clear speech. It is essential for easy communication. We maintain a friendly intonation that shows a positive attitude
5. Ability to keep a pause and talk to the point. This adds gravitas and weight to our words
6. Measured pace and relaxed way of doing things. When we are relaxed, others feel relaxed too
7. When we are grateful for what is offered to us and respect other people's space and time rather than beg, ask or push for more
8. Ability to listen to others.
9. Ability to keep promises
10. Respect the values of the society in which we operate
11. Respect people’s privacy
My findings revealed that people do not respect those who (despite their achievements):
1. Talk too much and do very little
2. Neither try to understand nor respect the values of the society in which they operate
3. Have a scruffy and ungroomed look that causes an emotion of disgust
4. Rush themselves and others, thus creating unnecessary stress that increases cortisol levels and damages health
5. Constantly ask for favours, try to take advantage of other people's time, space and resources
6. Rushed, unclear, badly articulated speech; intonation that transmits a toxic negative attitude
7. Make silly jokes
8. Waste their own and other people’s time
9. Do not keep their promise and overpromise
10. Have bad posture and a very hunched back
11. TMI - Give too much information about themselves and others, particularly private and sensitive information. Invade their privacy with with inappropriate questions
We can conclude that to be respected, we do not have to earn millions, have a PhD or win a gold medal in the Olympics. To earn respect, we should think of the ways we can be useful and master the necessary attributes and skills that facilitate it. We should also exercise a degree of self-control. Whether we start a new job or join a new social group, often our survival in this group depends on whether we can earn their respect.
Let me bring an example from my life. When I had a strong foreign accent, people looked down on me, and my native intonation sounded a bit aggressive in English culture. These facts hindered my success. When I mastered my speech and intonation, I began to feel respected and even admired.
You can master your speech with the apps:
Elocution Lessons, Get Rid of your Accent, American Accent App, Fluent English Speech, Fluent American Speech, Business English Speech, and 4Ps, Power, Pitch, Pace, Pause.
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