Small talk has three main purposes:
It helps to break the ice and create a friendly atmosphere
It is a great opportunity to size up the other person
It is an opportunity to showcase your personality and social status in a subtle way
What can be discussed during a small talk? I would suggest something general, positive and relevant to the situation you are in. The topics of small talk could be weather, holidays, school, university, places, sports, music, art, shopping, etc.
What topics should be avoided during small talk? Topics that are controversial and those that might embarrass, offend or make people feel uncomfortable. Definitely religion, politics, and very private/personal things. Avoid talking about wars, your political preferences, judging people from different religions and cultural backgrounds, your diseases and sex life.
To get better at small talk I recommend that you smile and connect to a person on an emotional level by being understanding and sympathetic This will help another person feel comfortable and safe.
Another thing you can do is adjust yourself to another person and create a rapport. For example, if you are a PhD in Quantum Physics and you talk to a builder may be the topic of your dissertation is not the best way to break the ice! What would work better when you talk to a person try to find some common ground sport for example. Or, if you see that the other person looks very sad your laughter and a smile would feel odd. Perhaps, a neutral expression would work better. Be sensitive to people’s needs and feelings.
I recommend not rushing your speech and allowing space for pauses to make the talk relaxed and pleasant. Do not interrupt the other person, instead listen with full attention and nod along when appropriate. Connect with what was said and continue by saying something to support the other person.
Avoid arguing, and try not to appear superior. Let the other person shine.
How can you showcase yourself during the small talk? First of all by the way you speak and listen. If you boast and interrupt others it can only show a lack of manners. If your speech is bare and primitive that might imply a lack of education. People will understand that you have been properly educated if you use a rich vocabulary.
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