How to Improve Your Business English

One of the most important things to have if you want to achieve anything is to have the motivation to do it. What can motivate you to master your Business English? Perhaps earning a bigger salary, fulfilling your true potential and expanding your career horizons? I can continue this list. I am sure you have your own motivation.

Secondly, I think you should focus on your business area first. It can be marketing or finance, for example. After you have mastered Business English in your area of expertise you can move on to other areas such as business development, management accounting, human resources management and so on.

Finally, structure your learning process. I will divide it into two parts.

The first one is your passive language, namely understanding Business English. This can be developed by listening and reading silently. I recommend listening to the BBC Business News, Bloomberg Radio and the audiobook Get Rid of your Accent for Business, Part Three.

The second part is your active Business English. This can be achieved by working with the Business English Speech app, writing and giving presentations. One of the best options would be to join a public speaking club such as Toastmasters (TM).  In TM you can give prepared and impromptu speeches, get evaluated and receive constructive feedback about what you are doing well and what can be improved. You can also learn how to conduct a TM meeting. This is an essential skill if you want to conduct/facilitate a meeting.

Below are a few practical daily tips:

1. Make notes of 2-5 phrases you hear and repeat them five times several times a day.

2. Write emails on Business topics and check the grammar with Grammarly. Make a note of your mistakes.

3. Read a short article in English 3 times out loud (250 words)

4. Work with the app Business English Speech for 15-45 minutes. This app is written in the style of the Economist and The Financial Times. You can master your Business vocabulary and pronunciation.

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The most effective way to learn a foreign language

I have decided to learn Spanish. In this article, I will share with you the most effective way to learn a foreign language. I'll use Spanish and Italian as my examples. Because I already speak Italian and I learned it fast. I speak five languages and my BA degree is in Languages. I will preach what I practice.

Number one: to learn the language fast we must have the purpose and the motivation to do it.

For example, my main motivation for learning Spanish is that want to live in Spain during the winter period because I cannot stand English winters. So instead of misery and drizzly English winter, I want to experience Valencia's sunshine, swimming in the sea and watching the sunset whilst looking at the mountains.

My second motivation is to spend time with my friends there some of them cannot speak English well. If I speak Spanish I will have fun at parties with my friends.

So if I am going to spend my winters in Spain I would need to buy a sim card, buy food in a supermarket, I might be using a train. I will go horse riding and dancing there. So what I am going to do?  I am going to write a list of topics where I would need to speak Spanish: supermarket, mobile phone shop, train station. I would gather vocabulary for these topics. I will write it down in my exercise book.

Now to a boring part. I cannot proceed without learning by heart the structure of basic Spanish grammar. I know I must learn by heart the conjugation of important verbs such as “to be, “to have”, to go” with pronouns; past, present, and future tenses; numbers, measurements, days of the week, months of the year, and so on. So I am going to invest 4 weeks to learn the structure of Spanish by heart, not more than that because it would be too boring.

So instead of overinvesting in grammar I would buy audio books and listen to them when driving. This is what I did when I learned Italian. I would listen to a detective story several times. The first time I just understood the main idea, when I listened to the same book the second time I understood more details and more words, and then as I progressed I could understand everything. There are books for different levels of language: beginners, intermediate and advanced. I will start with a beginner’s level.

On top of that, I will arrange with my Spanish friend to speak in Spanish for 5-10 minutes every day and in return, or exchange I will speak English with her for 10 minutes. I will practice my topics with her. It should be every day not once in a blue moon.

To summarise: to learn to speak in a foreign language we must have great motivation and purpose to do it, learn the basic structure/grammar by heart, listen to audiobooks, and speak every day.

Is that too much? Well, I have some advice for you: I want you to forget everything  I said and just get a pillow dictionary instead.

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How to achieve good, fluent, educated English?

Listen to good English speakers such as Boris Johnson, Stephen Fry, etc. Listen to their speeches and copy the way they speak. For example, Boris Johnson knows how he can deliver a strong message and be heard with the use of specific, powerful, and colourful adjectives and adverbs that add strength, meaning, and urgency:

"profoundly optimistic"
"insidiously programmed"
"a deep human instinct"
"astounding achievement"
"deeply and dangerously wrong"
"vital task"
"overriding anxiety"
”colossal character”

Read classics. References to classic literature will add depth to your words and meanings.

Read poetry. Reciting poetry will immensely enrich your vocabulary. I recommend that you memorise new words, phrases and metaphors in the context, then try to use them in your speech. Aesthetics, colourful language, compactness of expression, and the use of metaphor make poetry a source of interesting expressions.

Remember, how you say it is even more important than what you say. Modulate your voice, stress key messages, and use pauses this will help you to achieve good educated speech. ‎Fluent English Speech (British English) or ‎Fluent American Speech (American English), and Power, Pitch, Pace, Pause.
I also recommend the app Business English Speech. It contains 43 lessons from the book Get Rid of your Accent for Business, Part Three, ISBN 9780955330025. It works best with an accompanying video course. This app was designed for top-level professionals, diplomats and lawyers. With this app, you will practice sophisticated English expressions and RP.

More on Get Rid of your Accent | Elocution Lessons

How do I increase my confidence when I speak on stage?

There are several practical tools:

1.       When you walk to the stage breathe deeply, and walk at a normal pace with a straight back. Avoid rushing.

2.       Once you are on the stage smile and use open body language, open your hands, and greet the audience, again do not slouch, stay straight.

3.       Create eye contact with your audience. Here is some interesting advice from a popular performer: If you are a man look at women as if you want to have sex with every woman in the room.

4.       Start your speech with a loud voice; stress keywords and use pauses.

5.       Avoid rushed speech. Articulate well.

You can master these skills with the apps ‎Get Rid of your Accent UK1 and ‎Fluent English Speech (British English) or ‎American Accent App and ‎Fluent American Speech (American English), and Power, Pitch, Pace, Pause.

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How effective are the accent reduction training programs?

The answer to this question depends on three factors:

1. The teacher’s competence and work experience

2. The student’s ability to hear the differences in sounds and the amount of time and effort he/she is putting into the accent reduction process

3. The quality of training material: books, apps, video courses

Which teachers to choose?
Accent reduction should be taught by a qualified speech tutor (in the past speech tutors were called elocution teachers). A qualified speech tutor knows how sounds are produced in the mouth, the exact position of the tongue, lips and jaw for a particular sound. This is the key. To achieve the best results book a few elocution lessons.

What is expected of a student?
To reduce an accent one must substitute old habits of speaking with new ones which takes time and effort. It is a process. Usually, we recommend mastering a sound minimum for a week. Some sounds are easier and some may take longer to master. For example, /w/ sound does not exist in Russian. It is produced with lips going forward in a tight whistle and requires certain lip muscles. If the muscles are not trained it might take a while to train them to produce an energised /w/ sound. It’s a bit like going to the gym. If I tell you to go to the gym and come with a six-pack after one session you know that it will not happen. It is important to practice regularly, every day for 15-45 minutes rather than two hours once a week.

How to practice? Which books and apps to use?
I recommend that you download professional accent reduction apps ‎Get Rid of your Accent UK1 and ‎Fluent English Speech (British English) or ‎American Accent App and ‎Fluent American Speech (American English).
There is also an Elocution Lessons app to master essential English and a Business English Speech app that contains business vocabulary (both are for British English).
All the above apps have accompanying video courses, Get Rid of your Accent Part One and Get Rid of your Accent Part Two.

It is also a good idea to listen to good RP speakers, copy a section at a time, and record yourself.

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How to introduce a speaker

This blog post is useful for people who participate in public speaking events and social gatherings.
To introduce a speaker is a very important task. If you do it right you will make yourself popular.

1. The main principle to follow is to showcase the speaker's best qualities and talk very highly of his/her achievements, mentioning their awards, work and other contributions. Do your homework and find out the facts about the speaker.

2. Learn how to pronounce their name correctly and articulate it well when calling the person.

3. When calling the presenter smile, use a loud voice and upward inflections because it will make you sound optimistic and energetic. Maintain a straight posture and good eye contact with the audience. When the presenter comes to the stage shake his/her hand and make eye contact with him/her.

4. It would be fantastic to ask the audience to clap: “Let’s give a round of applause to our next speaker Simon Bird.”

5. Stress the most important words by saying them louder.
   Below is an example of an introduction; I put the most important words in italic font:
   “It is a great owner to introduce our next speaker, Simon Bird. Simon has a Ph.D. in Politics and is a Nobel Prize winner. It is impossible to overestimate his contributions to human rights in this country. Ladies and gentlemen, let’s give our warm welcome and a round of applause to Simon Bird!”

You can master the skills of presenting and more with the apps ‎Get Rid of your Accent UK1 and ‎Fluent English Speech (British English) or ‎American Accent App and ‎Fluent American Speech (American English), and Power, Pitch, Pace, Pause.

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Soft skills for success

1. Communication and public speaking
   With new technology developments and then isolation caused by COVID-19 many people complain to me that they do not communicate much. I say: say “yes” to life; do not avoid communication; be open and flexible with people. Have fun and enjoy speaking in public and in meetings. You can find useful tips on this topic at www.batcsglobal.com

2. Leadership
   One can be a born leader (like me for example :-). To be a strong leader you need to:
   - develop assertiveness and decisiveness;
   - practise taking responsibility; the majority of people would like to get rid of responsibilities, and leaders will take it; remember that the person who is in charge takes it all.
   - be active, express your ideas, initiate, and be in charge of bringing these ideas to fruition.
   - develop a sincere interest in other people.

3. Delegate and build a team around you
   Do not do everything by yourself or else you will not get far;
   Find the best people in their field;
   Opt only for an A-class talent if you want the best results.

4. Innovate and be creative
   Do not do the same things in the same way for years.
   Be open to new ways of doing things;
   Be spontaneous.

5. Time management and planning
   Ask yourself questions:
   - What benefits am I getting in doing this thing right now?
   - If I was not doing this could I do something more useful?
   Think about the long-term consequences of doing something for a while.
   Distribute your time according to your individual energy levels. Make sure you do not overwork and allow time for resting.

6. Constant improvement
   Constantly think: how can you improve what you are doing already?
   Analyze your results, identify your mistakes, and make a plan for improvements.
   Conduct PEST Analysis: analyse political, economic, social and technological developments and see how your business can benefit from them.

7. Self-motivation
   Get inspired by the greatness of others.
   Do sports daily.
   Listen to music that drives you.
   Never settle for boredom.

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How do you deal with people who don't communicate directly ?

As Oscar Wilde once said: “The first duty in life is to be as artificial as possible.  What the second duty is no one has as yet discovered.” In English-speaking, Anglo-Saxon culture people see directness as a form of aggression, and being polite is above being sincere. It is absolutely vital to pay attention to subtle details of communication. Learn and understand these subtleties if you would like to build good business and social connections.

I recommend the following instructions if you want to master the art of subtle communication:

Master your listening skills

1. Create eye contact with a speaker and look at them with empathy and a smile. People relax when you smile at them

2. Observe the way a person speaks. Namely intonation, tone of voice, speech speed, loudness, etc. You can learn more about it in the book Get Rid of your Accent Part Two, Advance Level, and the apps Fluent English Speech and 4Ps, Power, Pitch, Pace, Pause

3. Learn to read between the lines and pay close attention to words, voice, intonation, and facial expressions. Listen to the feelings and emotions behind words and voice, and respond to them appropriately

4. Imagine that you are a psychotherapist who is talking to a patient and that you are paid for listening

5. Allow a pause after what was said and connect with what was said

Work on your messages

1. Substitute negative words with euphemisms, for example instead of saying “poor” say “not bad”, instead of saying “I disagree” say “maybe I understand it differently”, and so on

2. Avoid giving orders, ask or request instead, for example, instead of saying “Do it!” say “Would you like to do it for me, please?”, and so on

3. Use a friendly tone of voice and intonation even when speaking about something difficult. You can master it with the app ‎Power, Pitch, Pace, Pause

More on Get Rid of your Accent | Elocution Lessons

Be in control and exude authority

Good barristers, politicians and business leaders sound confident, in control and have authority in their speech and voice. Can it be mastered? Yes, and I will explain how.

First of all, in order to achieve authority in your voice be in control of your breathing. Good breath control will bring energy to your voice.

Secondly, good articulation will help you sound clear, more energised and powerful. You can master it with the apps ‎Get Rid of your Accent UK1 (British English) or ‎American Accent App (American English).‎

Thirdly, avoid sounding monotonous and saying everything on one level of pitch. Change the pitch, power and pace according to the emotion/meaning of a particular message. We can recommend the app 4Ps, Power, Pitch, Pace, Pause if you want to learn and practice this technique.

To achieve authority, speak in a straightforward way and stress the key messages. To make the keywords stand out use a louder or quieter voice (depending on the meaning). Raise the inflection when saying keywords and vice versa, use downward inflection with unstressed words. Learn more about inflecltion and sentence stress in the apps ‎Fluent English Speech (British English) or Fluent American Speech (American English).

Finally, think about physicality and be well in control of your posture and gestures. Have a good straight posture and gestures that support your messages.

What is the best way to practice it? Listen to speakers like Winston Churchill. Watch courtroom dramas and note how effective barristers speak. Here is a practical exercise for you:

1. Read a speech out loud and record yourself.

2. Underline stresses keywords and mark pauses in the printed copy of the speech. You can learn how to do it right with the app Power, Pitch, Pace, Pause.

3. Read the speech again and record yourself. If necessary repeat this exercise a few times.

If you need help book a few elocution lessons.

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Android Apps to master English speech

British English:

Elocution Lessons - Apps on Google Play
This app is ideal for children and people who just started learning English. This app has 48 lessons. It contains short, commonly used phrases, sentences and verses that are easy to repeat and it also has useful tips for teachers of English. It is actually useful for everyone as it contains essential, everyday English.

Get Rid of Your Accent - Apps on Google Play
This app is ideal if you want to get rid of a regional or foreign accent and to speak with Standard English or RP (Received Pronunciation). It has 42 lessons; it contains effective practical exercises to perfect all English sounds and perfect your articulation.

Fluent English Speech - Apps on Google Play
This app is a follow-up to the Get Rid of your Accent app.  It is ideal if you want to develop fluency in English and sound more like a native English speaker. It contains exercises for difficult and connected speech patterns, natural flow of speech, intonation, sentence stress and onomatopoeia. 

Business English Speech - Apps on Google Play
This app was designed for top-level professionals, diplomats and lawyers. It is the only app on the market that has both English pronunciation and business vocabulary training. It contains 43 lessons with material gathered from interviews with CEOs, CFOs and MDs of global companies and helps to develop proficiency in English.

Power, Pitch, Pace, Pause - Apps on Google Play
This app is ideal if you want to get rid of monotonous speech and become a successful presenter and public speaker. It contains practical exercises for voice modulation and the use of pauses.

Get Rid of Chinese Accent - Apps on Google Play
This app is the same as the app Get Rid of your Accent with an additional bonus - Chinese translations.

General American English:

American Accent App - Apps on Google Play
This app is ideal if you want to get rid of a foreign or regional accent and master Standard American accent. It has 42 lessons. It contains effective practical exercises to perfect all American English sounds.

Fluent American Speech - Apps on Google Play
This app is a follow-up to the American Accent App. It is ideal to develop fluency in your American English speech. It contains exercises for difficult and connected speech patterns, natural flow of speech, intonation and sentence stress

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Stop sounding boring and depressing!

A good many of our students are high achievers and they want their speech to be sharp as a sword with which they conquer the world. They take our elocution lessons in order to feel confident to:
- run meetings,
- speak in front of a large international audience
- present sales pitches,
- dominate in political debates,
- speak in the High Court of Justice,
- create educational video courses in the world's top universities, and so on.

In other words, they want people to listen to them.

We first work on the clarity of their speech and help them master RP (Received Pronunciation, actors master RP in drama schools in order to play upper-class characters in classic plays).

However, intonation and inflection are even more important if you want to sound interesting so that others enjoy listening to you.
Here is just one example of how different patterns of inflection can be used.
Most of the time we would use a simple falling inflection at the end of a sentence. Within a sentence that has separate phrases, we would use a rising inflection at the end of each phrase and finish the sentence with a falling inflection. Here are a couple of examples:
“The plane, which is flying to America, was delayed.”
”The giant, who was called Bill, was very frightening.”

Using rising inflection where appropriate will make the speech much more interesting.

Usually, people sound really boring and even depressing if they constantly use simple falling inflection. What I have noticed is that often people from a particular culture have a habit of using simple falling most of the time (for example, in an authoritarian culture like Russia). When I asked them to say something in a different way (with simple rising inflection or circumflex rising) they told me they felt unnatural. Indeed, our intonation and inflection are influenced by the environment we grew up in. Often we outgrow or change our childhood environment and lift ourselves to the next level. Therefore, one might ask: is the way I speak fitting my current environment?

When we record our students’ speech they are often shocked to hear the way they sound. They want to do exercises that can help them sound more interesting.

I would like to share these exercises with you.
1. Listen to good RP speakers; a small section at a time, a minute long or less
2. Analysie their inflection and make a note of when it rises and when it falls
3. Copy them

To get rid of constantly using simple falling use this simple exercise: instead of telling people what to do ask them to do it, and instead of demanding ask for a favour. When we ask a question our inflection rises.

It will also be useful to get rid of negative words in your vocabulary. Think about how you can avoid sounding negative. For example, instead of saying "We had another slow day", just say what happened: "Today our sales reached the same levels as yesterday".

You can learn and practise intonation/inflection and voice modulation with the apps Fluent English Speech and  Power, Pitch, Pace, Pause. The functionality of the app where you can listen, repeat and compare is perfect for mastering the intonation.

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How can I enhance communication skills and foster solid interpersonal connections?

Interpersonal connections may be based on:

1. Business interests

2. Personal interests

It proved quite tricky to combine the two, however, there are cases when business and personal interests work well together.

I have analysed my friends with fantastic interpersonal skills and they have two things in common: they are positive and have empathy.

Communication skills are mastered our entire lives. There is always room for improvement if we want to foster solid interpersonal connections.

There are common rules that can help you do that if you observe them.

1. Develop a genuine and sincere interest in another person. Try to understand what they want. Look a little further and dig a little deeper. Often an overconfident pushy person is hiding insecurities and a shy introvert may turn out to be a tower of strengths. Pay attention to details as the truth usually leaks through tiny details.

2. When interacting smile, people like that.

3. Communicate clearly and take into account your interests and the interests of others to reach a win-win scenario.

4. Be honest in a diplomatic way.

5. Think long-term when it comes to building relationships.

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Tips to improve public speaking skills and boost confidence

You can boost your confidence by realising that you are a unique human being and that your contribution to this world is welcomed. What you do and say matters and has value. Do not try to copy others, develop your own style, have fun and be happy.

What I have noticed is that people who lack confidence are not happy with their own physical appearance. Such people are often victims of the beauty industry and spend a fortune on plastic surgery and procedures.

By daring to be your natural self, having a haircut that you fancy but that may be not in fashion and clothes that others might find odd looking will boost your confidence; it will shout out “I don’t care what you think of me”.

Secondly, educate yourself and master the skills that you want to have and that might be of value to others. Monetise these skills and become prosperous. Money is a huge confidence booster.

To become a good public speaker work on straight posture, correct breathing, speech, voice, use of gestures, and visual aids to boost your presentations.

Here are a few public speaking tips :
1. Practise articulation exercises regularly. This will help you to have clear and crisp speech

2. Use pauses. It is one of the most effective means in public speaking; it separates ideas, creates a dramatic effect, creates anticipation and so much more.

3. Stress key messages. This technique helps to make your speech easy to listen to

How can I become better at small talk?

Small talk has three main purposes:

1. It helps to break the ice and create a friendly atmosphere

2. It is a great opportunity to size up the other person

3. It is an opportunity to showcase your personality and social status in a subtle way

What can be discussed during a small talk? I would suggest something general, positive and relevant to the situation you are in. The topics of small talk could be weather, holidays, school, university, places, sports, music, art, shopping, etc.

What topics should be avoided during small talk? Topics that are controversial and those that might embarrass, offend or make people feel uncomfortable. Definitely religion, politics, and very private/personal things. Avoid talking about wars, your political preferences, judging people from different religions and cultural backgrounds, your diseases and sex life.

To get better at small talk I recommend that you smile and connect to a person on an emotional level by being understanding and sympathetic This will help another person feel comfortable and safe.

Another thing you can do is adjust yourself to another person and create a rapport. For example, if you are a PhD in Quantum Physics and you talk to a builder may be the topic of your dissertation is not the best way to break the ice! What would work better when you talk to a person try to find some common ground sport for example. Or, if you see that the other person looks very sad your laughter and a smile would feel odd. Perhaps, a neutral expression would work better. Be sensitive to people’s needs and feelings.

I recommend not rushing your speech and allowing space for pauses to make the talk relaxed and pleasant. Do not interrupt the other person, instead listen with full attention and nod along when appropriate. Connect with what was said and continue by saying something to support the other person.

Avoid arguing, and try not to appear superior. Let the other person shine.

How can you showcase yourself during the small talk? First of all by the way you speak and listen. If you boast and interrupt others it can only show a lack of manners. If your speech is bare and primitive that might imply a lack of education. People will understand that you have been properly educated if you use a rich vocabulary.

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How to prepare for a presentation?

We recommend that people who take our elocution lessons should practise their presentations in the following order:

1. Write the structure of the presentation in key messages, introduction, body, and conclusion. For example:
   - in the introduction, you can greet your audience and say what your presentation is about;
   - in the body of the presentation you will discuss examples and statistics which support the topic and purpose of your presentation;
   - in the conclusion you will call for action.

2. Read the presentation three times and then do an audio recording. Listen to your audio recording and make a note of your mistakes then practise again until you are satisfied with the results. It is very useful to perform articulation exercises with the app Get Rid of your Accent for a few days before your presentation.

3. Finally, practise it in front of the mirror and make a video recording of yourself presenting

Practicing in front of the mirror is helpful for public speaking because you will be able to see how confident you look, and you will also see your posture and gestures. All three, confidence, posture, and gestures can support your presentation/speech or distract from it.

The main characteristics of bad posture are:

1. Slouching

2. Body tilted backward or forwards

3. Lifted shoulders

4. Looking down

5. Toes pointing left and right, looking like a penguin

6. Both toes pointing inside and heels pointing outside

7. One shoulder is higher than the other

8. Hunched back

9. Humping on one leg

I recommend that you stay straight and create zigzag eye contact with your audience. Do not walk from one side of the room to another as it can be destructive. Just use zigzag eye contact with your audience. Download the app 4Ps, Power, Pitch, Pace, Pause to practise posture preparation, use of pause and voice modulation. These useful skills will make all your presentations much better.

Let's take a look at the gestures that are weakening your presence and your speech delivery.

1. Lack of gestures resulting from the stiffness of the body. Sometimes a person feels so nervous that they grab their speech in their hands and hold it during their entire presentation. This creates a closed body posture and shows a lack of confidence.

2. Scratching your head, nose or any part of the body can look a bit distracting and even inappropriate.

3. Trying to adjust your clothes, and moving a ring on your finger are also gestures that indicate that the person feels somewhat nervous.

4. Touching and trying to improve your hair shows that you are not sure of your looks and feel you are not confident enough.

5. Too many gestures and repetitive gestures show you are trying too hard to compensate for a lack of confidence.

I recommend using descriptive gestures. Think about how your gestures can help your audience absorb the information easily. Using visual aids is also very powerful and brings an element of play into your presentation.
Just 15 minutes before presenting, perform body relaxation exercises so that anxiety does not interfere with the smooth delivery of your presentation.

You can find out more tips for speech mastery and public speaking on www.batcsglobal.com

Active listening checklist

Active listening involves listening to words and nonverbal messages a speaker is using. The foundation of active listening is a sincere interest in a person speaking.

The checklist of what not to do during active listening:

1. Do not interrupt other’s speech

2. Do not anticipate what will be said

3. Do not finish a speaker's sentences

4. Do not judge, just observe what is being said and how it is being said

I recommend the following instructions if you want to master active listening:

1. Create eye contact with a speaker and look at them with empathy and a smile. People relax when you smile at them

2. Observe the way a person speaks. Namely intonation, tone of voice, speech speed, loudness, etc. YOu can learn more about it in the book Get Rid of your Accent Part Two, Advance Level, and the apps Fluent English Speech and 4Ps, Power, Pitch, Pace, Pause

3. Listen to the feelings and emotions behind words and voice, and respond to them appropriately

4. Imagine that you are a psychotherapist who is talking to a patient and that you are paid for listening

5. Allow a pause after what was said and connect with what was said

6. Motivate yourself for active listening by knowing that a person who os listening is in a more powerful position than the one who speaks

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Learn to communicate your emotions and feelings

I have noticed that many of us were not educated to communicate emotions and feelings. Instead, we were taught "how to think right." In kindergarten, school, university and then at work, even in the family, we learned how to think and speak appropriately.

The thing is we are not robots; we are humans with feelings and emotions. In Western civilization, we learned how to neglect our feelings and just say "the right thing." We learned that expressing vulnerability is a weakness and that being tough is a real strength. Is it? I am not so sure about it.

We often communicate the feeling of frustration with anger and aggression. In England, where I live, it is very fashionable to express feelings in a passive-aggressive way. In other words, acting nicely but with hidden aggression. Is there a need to be aggressive or passive-aggressive? Is there a better way? How can we do it differently?

Where does the aggression come from? In my opinion, the basis of aggression is judgment. What often happens is we see that someone breaks "a rule" that we expected he/she should observe, and we are quick to judge and then may even attack that person. We evaluate, judge and attack.

What if we stop evaluating and simply observe? Instead of judging, we start observing other people's speech and observing our own reaction to it and what feelings and emotions we have at that moment. This process takes time. If we do this exercise on a regular basis it will become automatic. It will substitute our reactive/aggressive responses to communicating our observations in a calm, measured way. When communicating, it is much better if we look at the person with compassion rather than with judgment.

Observation is neutral, whilst judgment is negative. When we feel negative, our body reacts in a certain way: we get tense, become stiff, and shorten breathing. By pausing, relaxing your body and breathing correctly you will help yourself to communicate your emotions as observations.

Many students who take our elocution lessons often tell us that they want to become more confident. Feeling confident is expressed by your body language, voice and words. The key to confidence is calmness, feeling relaxed and at the same time in control of your emotions.

You can find useful breathing exercises and how you can use your intonation and voice to express different feelings and emotions in the book Get Rid of your Accent Part Two, Advanced Level and the apps Fluent English Speech and 4Ps, Power, Pitch, Pace, Pause.

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