What I Learned About Leadership by Examining My Need to Rush

Many high-functioning people struggle with a hidden pattern:
They rush through tasks, make mistakes, redo work — and feel constantly pressured. When they try to slow down, they freeze and do nothing. This is my pattern that spoils the quality of my life daily. I either rush or do nothing.

What I learned is that this isn’t a productivity problem. It’s a nervous system pattern.

The reason why I am afraid to slow down is that when I slow down, I do not do anything

When I rush → I feel in control and can act
When I slow down → my system drops into freeze/shutdown, so nothing happens

Why this happens

My father always rushed me. For someone who was rushed and pressured early on, the nervous system often learned only two states:

1. Urgency = move, act, survive

2. No urgency = danger, helplessness, collapse

There was never a safe middle state where: “I’m calm and active.”

So when I remove speed, my system doesn’t find calm productivity — it falls into immobility.

The key reframe

I learned that I do not need to “slow down more.” I need to learn how to: Stay active while regulated

What actually works for my nervous system

1. Using gentle motion, not stillness, because Stillness = shutdown for you (right now).

Instead:

• Light movement

• Small actions

• Continuous but low-pressure motion

Examples:

• Typing notes without deciding

• Organizing tools

• Movement keeps you out of freeze.

I need to keep a visible structure because freeze thrives in ambiguity.

Tools that help me is to write down:

• What I’m doing now

• For how long

• What happens after

Example:

“I’ll outline for 3 minutes, then reassess.”

That reassess clause is anti-helplessness.

The state I am building (this is the goal)

Not:

• Rushing

• Stopping

But:

Steady, gentle forward motion

The mistake most advice makes

“Just slow down” doesn’t work here.
Stillness can trigger shutdown.

The goal is not slowness.
The goal is steady action without panic.

What actually helps

• Move first, gently (light action instead of stopping)

• Keep choice visible (“I’m choosing this pace”)

• Use small, bounded steps (30–120 seconds)

• Soften speed, don’t remove motion

• Reclaim stop power (pause by choice, then continue)

This trains the body to feel active and safe at the same time.

The shift that changes the quality of life

When control comes from choice instead of urgency:

• Anxiety drops

• Errors decrease

• Focus improves

• Life feels less compressed

  Key takeaway:
  If slowing down makes you freeze, you’re not alone. You’re missing a trained middle state — calm, deliberate action. That state can be learned. You don’t have to live in emergency mode forever.

Warmly

Olga Smith

255. Listening Is Wiser Than Speaking

Have you noticed that most people prefer talking rather than listening to others? Why is that? Because their own world and their own life feel more important to them than anyone else’s.

Most of us think we’re listening, but often we’re:

•  Mentally crafting our reply

•  Rushing to jump in with our own story 

When we do not listen, we tend to overtalk, and when we overtalk, we often:

•  Say things we later regret

•  Overshare without meaning to

•  Come across as scattered or self-focused

•  Miss valuable insights from the other side

•  Dilute the impact of what does matter

 And here’s the core truth:

When we say little and measure our words, those words carry weight. Choosing our words carefully gives them power.

When we say too much, the essence gets lost in a sea of unnecessary noise.

 A few small changes can transform how we switch from talking too much to listening to others:

•  Pause before responding

•  Ask clarifying questions

•  Focus on understanding, not replying

•  Let silence exist for a moment—it creates clarity

 People who speak less often leave a stronger impression. Not because they’re quiet, but because they’re intentional. Their words aren’t drowned out—they stand out. 

243. Don’t Scatter Your Forces

In this week’s reflection, I’d like to continue my Energy Management series.

What I’ve noticed is how easy it is, in today’s world, to scatter our energy on endless small talks, messages, and trying to please others to appear “nice” or agreeable.

Instead of focusing on our goals, we often gift our attention to things that don’t truly matter. The result? Lost energy, wasted time, and a blurred sense of direction. It’s better to have a nap than waste energy.

Our energy is our life force — the fuel that powers creativity, clarity, and meaningful action.

What if, instead of doing more, we started choosing more carefully?

What if we said “no” to the activities and people that quietly drain us — and “yes” only to what nourishes and inspires us?

I live in London, and there are always invitations to talk, network, or “catch up.” Before agreeing, I pause and ask myself:

• Does this meeting move me closer to something meaningful?

• Does this conversation energise me or drain me?

Protecting our energy is not selfish - it’s essential. Keep your eyes on your prize - your goals and important relations.

Warmly

Olga Smith

www.batcsglobal.com

237. Hips Don't Lie

The phrase “hips don’t lie” ultimately points us back to authenticity.

People can force a smile.

They can rehearse their lines.

But their bodies will always reveal the truth.

Why? Because the body is directly linked to the subconscious mind. While the conscious mind carefully edits speech and expression, the subconscious leaks out through posture, breath, gestures, and movement.

The hips, the shoulders, the eyes—they all carry traces of emotions we may not even be aware of. Stress, fear, attraction, joy, insecurity—these states live in the body long before they reach the tongue.

That is why the body is our most honest storyteller. It whispers the truths the conscious mind tries to hide, revealing what is really happening beneath the surface.

That’s why, when we try to understand people’s true attitudes, we should listen not only to their words but to their bodies.

A body speaks softly but honestly. The way someone sits, the way they breathe, the way they look at you or linger—all of these gestures are quiet confessions of the soul.

Ask yourself gently: What does their body tell me? And just as important - what does my own body say in response?

Sometimes, before our mind has time to form a thought, our body already knows. We feel comfort or unease, warmth or distance. This is not a coincidence—it is our subconscious, the deep language of connection that exists beneath words.

When we learn to notice this silent dialogue—between their body and ours—we enter into a more authentic way of relating. We begin to see that truth is not only spoken; it is carried in the rhythm of movement, in the breath between words, in the subtle dance of presence.

The body never lies—it simply speaks the truths the heart already knows.