257. Buy Nothing

For years, I was caught in a cycle I didn’t fully recognise:

I was a shopping addict. I was shopping to make myself happy, which gave me a false feeling of self-love.

It didn’t look dramatic from the outside—just “treating myself,” chasing deals, ordering small things here and there. But underneath, there was a pattern:

1. A rush before buying something

2. The dopamine hit when I clicked purchase

3. A quick crash into emptiness

4. A new desire to repeat the cycle

And repeat it did - until it created debt, stress, but the most annoying of all, lost time and opportunities. Eventually, something shifted. I realised I was outsourcing my sense of fulfilment to objects that couldn't possibly provide it. So I made a decision that changed everything:

I would buy only food and bare essentials.

I committed to using what I already had and getting more creative with the resources around me. What started as a financial boundary became a personal transformation.

And while I did save money, that turned out to be only a small part of what I gained. Here are the unexpected advantages of my “Buy Nothing” practice:

1. I Became More Creative

Necessity truly is the mother of invention. When I stopped buying, I started problem-solving.

• I repurposed things

• I fixed things

It’s easy to overlook the richness of our lives when we’re always reaching for the next thing. As I reused, repaired, and re-imagined, I saw the value in what was already around me.

2. I found new hobbies (that are free):

• Swimming in the cold seawater

• Country walks

• Beach Sundo

3. I Broke the Emotional Cycle

The biggest shift wasn’t financial—it was emotional.

• I learned to sit with discomfort instead of numbing it with a purchase.

• I learned to identify the real trigger behind the urge.

• I learned that fulfilment isn’t something I need to buy.

4. I Regained Control

Addiction -of any kind - takes our power. Choosing “buy nothing” gave me my power back. I became clear about what I truly value.

And that clarity didn’t just transform my spending… it transformed my mindset, my habits, and my confidence.

“Buy Nothing” isn’t about deprivation. It’s about liberation. It’s about breaking a cycle that promises happiness with every purchase but delivers emptiness instead.

5. I freed up plenty of energy

Buying nothing eliminated decision fatigue. Every purchase—big or small—quietly drained my cognitive energy.

• Do I need this?

• Is this the right one?

• What if there’s a better option?

• Should I wait for a sale?

Choosing to “buy nothing” for a period of time removed that mental clutter and redirected my energy toward far more fulfilling pursuits. I’ve come to a simple conclusion:

I will only buy what I truly cannot live without. Everything else costs more than money - it costs my energy.

Warmly

Olga Smith

255. Listening Is Wiser Than Speaking

Have you noticed that most people prefer talking rather than listening to others? Why is that? Because their own world and their own life feel more important to them than anyone else’s.

Most of us think we’re listening, but often we’re:

•  Mentally crafting our reply

•  Rushing to jump in with our own story 

When we do not listen, we tend to overtalk, and when we overtalk, we often:

•  Say things we later regret

•  Overshare without meaning to

•  Come across as scattered or self-focused

•  Miss valuable insights from the other side

•  Dilute the impact of what does matter

 And here’s the core truth:

When we say little and measure our words, those words carry weight. Choosing our words carefully gives them power.

When we say too much, the essence gets lost in a sea of unnecessary noise.

 A few small changes can transform how we switch from talking too much to listening to others:

•  Pause before responding

•  Ask clarifying questions

•  Focus on understanding, not replying

•  Let silence exist for a moment—it creates clarity

 People who speak less often leave a stronger impression. Not because they’re quiet, but because they’re intentional. Their words aren’t drowned out—they stand out. 

254. Anatomy of Success That Shapes Our Path

99% of our students are already high achievers—or well on their way to becoming powerful, influential people. We help them master their speech, and during our elocution lessons, many of them inspired me to write this newsletter.

There is a powerful factor we often overlook.

It can guide us toward success… or quietly hold us back.

It speaks long before someone hears our ideas

It's sensed...

What is it?

It is our presence, or the way we look, move, and speak.

Let’s break down the signs that help us project confidence and the habits that can get in our way. We’ll explore two simple areas: physical signs and speech patterns.

Posture: Straight and Grounded

• A straight posture doesn’t just look confident—it creates confidence.

• Standing tall with shoulders back signals readiness, authority, and openness. A slouched posture communicates hesitation, insecurity, or withdrawal.

• Power signal: Upright, aligned, and grounded posture

• Failure pattern: Hunched shoulders, shifting weight, or shrinking into yourself

Pace and Rhythm: Measured, Not Rushed

• When our movements are rushed or scattered, we signal anxiety or lack of control.

• Measured rhythm—walking with intention and moving with purpose—creates an aura of stability.

• Power signal: Smooth, controlled pace, no micromovement of improving hair, clothes. etc. No rush

• Failure pattern: Fast, rushed, abrupt, jittery movements or inconsistent rhythm

Peace: The Energy of Calm Confidence

• Power is not loud or frantic; it’s calm.

• A peaceful presence shows emotional stability and inner security. Others read this as leadership.

• Power signal: A calm, unhurried demeanour

• Failure pattern: Restlessness, fidgeting, or visible tension

Eye Contact: Direct Yet Respectful

• Looking directly at others demonstrates clarity and honesty. It shows that you are present, engaged, and unafraid.

• Power signal: Clear, steady eye contact

• Failure pattern: Avoiding eyes, darting glances, or looking downward

Speech patterns can amplify or diminish our authority in seconds. What are the speech patterns that signal power?

Pace: Measured and Intentional

• Speaking too quickly can make your message feel rushed or chaotic. A measured pace helps your words land with impact. It signals thoughtfulness and control.

• Power signal: Steady, intentional pacing

• Failure pattern: Rapid, breathless speaking or trailing off

Pause: The Secret Ingredient of Power

• Silence, when used appropriately, is powerful.

• A pause gives weight to your message. It lets listeners absorb your words. It communicates certainty rather than desperation to fill space.

• Power signal: Purposeful pauses to emphasise meaning

• Failure pattern: Rambling, fillers, or talking nonstop

Power Is a Habit, Not a Talent. The anatomy of success lies in our presence.

You can start empowering yourself with the app 4Ps, Power, Pitch, Pace, Pause

250. Be Unstoppable: Balancing Your Inner Cycles to Build Momentum

We all go through different stages in life, shifting from one state of being to another, like the ebb and flow of tides.

🔥 The Drive State: When Momentum Takes Over

There are moments when we feel driven — energised, aligned, and unstoppable. In these phases, we create, build, solve, lead, and accomplish more than we imagined. It feels as if the world opens for us. But high drive without self-awareness eventually leads to one thing: burnout.

🌙 The Reflective State: When Doubt Meets Insight

Then come the melancholic, pensive seasons. Here, we slow down, question, reflect, and sometimes doubt ourselves. These periods can feel uncomfortable, yet they often reveal deeper truths:

• What are you doing?

• Why are you doing it?

• Does it still align with who you’re becoming?

Reflection is very powerful — unless you stay there too long.

😴 The Resting State: When Your Mind and Body Reset

And then there are the tired seasons — essential moments of restoration. We sleep, eat, stretch, breathe, and reconnect with our humanity. Rest isn’t a pause from productivity.

The Real Question: What’s Your Ratio?

We all cycle through drive, reflection, and rest — but in different amounts.

• Some people live in drive mode and eventually burn out.

• Some stay in reflection and never take action.

• Some rest so often that their momentum never forms.

There’s no universal formula. But there is awareness — and that changes everything.

🎯 An Example From My Own Life

Take speech mastery, for example. Once, I practised my English speech for hours every day. My articulation was sharp. My pronunciation was clear. My confidence was rising. Then I stopped completely (I was travelling to Italy and was learning to speak Italian). My English speech became sloppy — far from where I wanted to be. Now I practice just 20 minutes a day, and the improvement is remarkable. My articulation is returning. My pronunciation is strengthening. Consistency beats intensity - every time.

Know Yourself

Here’s what I’ve learned about myself:

• My mind moves fast and seeks quick, simple solutions so I can relax.

• When I feel driven, I can (figuratively) move mountains.

• But I also tend to reflect too long — sometimes to the point where I feel sick, lose progress, and then rush to catch up, causing mistakes.

This is my cycle. But I’m choosing to break it — and create a new one.

✅ My 3-Step Formula to Stay Unstoppable

These simple habits have changed everything for me:

1. I allocate dedicated time for work, rest, and reflection.

Structure reduces emotional decision-making. I also know that for me, the best time to reflect is very early am or late pm. Work between 8 am and 1 pm. Rest between 4 pm-8 pm.

2. I set alarms to stop myself from going too far in any direction.

Balance needs boundaries. For me, this is particularly useful to limit my reflection and rest time.

3. I break tasks into baby steps and assign time to each one.

Small steps act like pressing on a gas pedal in a car; they make me move and build momentum.

Being unstoppable isn’t about always being in “go mode.” It’s about mastering the flow between drive, reflection, and rest — with awareness, intention, and compassion. When you learn your patterns and build consistency into your days, something powerful happens:

You don’t just make progress. You become unstoppable.

Warmly

Olga Smith

www.batcsglobal.com

248. Your Personal Language Style

We all have our own personal style — a voice shaped by the environment we grew up in. The words we choose, the rhythm of our sentences, even the phrases we repeat without thinking - they all carry traces of our background, experiences, and the people who’ve influenced us.

Maybe you picked up a calm, measured tone from a parent who spoke thoughtfully. Or perhaps your speech has the warmth and colour of a lively neighbourhood where stories were traded like treasures. Over time, these influences blend into a style that’s uniquely yours - your linguistic fingerprint.

What’s fascinating is that our style continues to evolve. New environments, social circles, and technologies reshape how we speak and write. The way you text a friend today might be miles apart from how you wrote letters ten years ago — and that’s perfectly natural. Language is alive, and so are we.

Our personal style isn’t just about grammar or vocabulary; it’s about identity. It tells the world who we are, where we’ve been, and how we see things. Recognising and refining your style doesn’t mean losing authenticity - it means understanding your voice and using it with purpose.

So as you read this week’s edition, take a moment to reflect:

What’s your style saying about you?  

We offer a personalised speech analysis designed to help you discover and refine your unique communication style.

 Through this in-depth analysis, you will:

•  Gain a clear understanding of your personal language style

•  Identify your strengths and areas for growth

•  Receive detailed, actionable recommendations to enhance your speech and voice

 To book your session, email oriana_r@hotmail.com or text +447971246806

Warmly

Olga Smith

www.batcsglobal.com

247. Fortune Favours The Brave

The Ancient Truth That Still Defines Modern Success. “Fortune favours the brave” — a timeless proverb that has echoed through centuries, from Roman battlefields to Silicon Valley boardrooms. But what does it really mean in today’s world of AI disruption, global uncertainty, and rapid change?

At its core, this phrase reminds us that opportunity rarely visits those who play it safe. It seeks the doers — the ones willing to step into discomfort, take intelligent risks, and act with conviction even when outcomes are uncertain.

The Courage to Act in Uncertainty

We often romanticise bravery as a grand gesture — starting a company, quitting a job, or launching a bold product. But true bravery is quieter. It’s:

• Speaking up in a meeting or in public

• Admitting you don’t know something and choosing to learn.

• Choosing innovation over imitation.

Each small act of courage compounds over time — and that’s where fortune begins to turn in your favour.

The New Definition of “Fortune”

In the past, “fortune” was material wealth, fame, or conquest.

Today, it’s broader:

• Fortune is growth.

• Fortune is impact.

• Fortune is fulfilment.

The brave are not always the loudest. They’re often the most consistent — showing up, iterating, learning from failure, and daring to move forward when others freeze.

In a world changing faster than ever, playing it safe is now the riskiest move. The next innovation, opportunity, or breakthrough won’t come from certainty — it will come from someone willing to act despite the unknown.

So, the question isn’t whether fortune favours the brave.

It’s whether you’re brave enough to meet it halfway.

One of my billionaire friends once said: God gives huge wealth for two human qualities: patience and bravery. The more I think about this saying, the more I believe it's true.

246. Don't Overthink!

Do you ever find yourself stuck in small decisions — what to wear, what to start first, what to buy?

It’s strange how something so simple can suddenly feel heavy.

We live in a time of endless options, and while that can be a gift, it also brings a quiet kind of pressure — the sense that there must be a right choice waiting to be figured out.

 But often, the more we think, the further we drift from clarity.

 Sometimes the simplest way forward isn’t to analyse — it’s to feel.

We live in a world that rewards logic and over-analysis, but sometimes the wisest answers don’t come from thinking harder — they come from feeling deeper.

 Your body is constantly whispering to you:

• a tightening in the chest when something feels off

• a lightness in your step when something excites you

• a calm in your belly when something is right

 That’s your intuition — your inner compass.

When you stop fighting the current and start flowing with it, something magical happens:

• Decisions become easier.

• Creativity feels natural

• Life feels less like a checklist and more like a dance.

 This week, try this simple shift:

• When your mind starts spinning, pause and take a deep breath

•  Notice how your body feels about the situation — not what your mind thinks

•  Then, trust that signal

 Flow isn’t about doing nothing — it’s about doing what feels aligned.

 So, let go of the overthinking.

Tune in.

Trust yourself.

And let life move through you.

Warmly

Olga Smith

www.batcsglobal.com

235. The Power of Three

Have you noticed how often the power of three shows up in our daily lives? A good meal consists of a starter, a main course, and a dessert. A good day includes work, rest, and play.

Take my belly dancing class today. It felt amazing because it had:

1️⃣ A nice warm-up

2️⃣ A well-paced rehearsal of our routine for the upcoming show

3️⃣ A wonderfully relaxing stretch to finish

The same principle applies to public speaking. A strong speech always has:

1️⃣ An engaging introduction

2️⃣ An interesting main part

3️⃣ A memorable conclusion

And yes, even in elocution lessons, the pattern holds true:

1️⃣ Warm-up muscular exercises

2️⃣ Practising a sound or speech pattern

3️⃣ A fun verse or rhyme exercise at the end

Why does this work? Because our brains love structure. Three feels complete, balanced, and easy to remember. If you’d like to apply the power of three to your own speech and communication, you can explore my apps:

• Elocution Lessons

• Get Rid of your Accent

• American Accent App

• Fluent English Speech

• Fluent American Speech

• Business English Speech

• 4Ps, Power, Pitch, Pace, Pause

Now, I’d love to hear from you. What’s an example of the power of three in your own life? Share it in the comments—I can’t wait to read your ideas

234. Our Body is the Living Shade of our Soul

Our bodies are not just flesh and bone. They are the living shade of our souls, silently reflecting our inner world in every gesture, every breath, and every sound we make. Long before words, it is the body that speaks.

The eyes reveal the truth most quickly. They shine with joy, cloud with sadness, sparkle with love, and harden with anger. Even when our lips remain sealed, the eyes confess what the soul feels.

The shoulders tell another story. When weighed down by worry, they slump forward. When lifted by pride or freedom, they rise and open. The shoulders don’t just carry physical loads — they carry invisible emotional weight.

The breath is perhaps the most faithful companion of the soul. It races when we are anxious, becomes shallow when we are afraid, and flows deeply and slowly when we are calm. Breath is the rhythm of our inner life, always honest, always present.

The voice is the sound of the soul. It trembles with fear, steadies with confidence, warms with love, and sharpens with impatience. Every tone, every inflection, is a trace of our emotional truth.

The hands extend the soul outward. They clench in anger, tremble in fear, caress in tenderness, and open in generosity. Through the hands, the soul touches the world.

The skin acts as a canvas of the soul’s emotions. It blushes with embarrassment, pales with shock, and glows with happiness. Without words, it betrays what is stirring within us.

The posture writes a silent biography of the present moment. Bent in defeat, straight in confidence, restless in worry, relaxed in peace — posture shows what the soul is carrying.

Even the gait - the way we walk - reveals our state of being. Heavy, dragging steps often signal sorrow or fatigue, while light, springing strides announce joy and freedom.

And then, of course, the smile. A true smile radiates from the soul, lifting not only the lips but the entire face and body. A forced smile, however, exposes the fracture between body and soul.

Our bodies, in all these ways, are not separate from the soul but its living expression. To listen to the body is to listen to the soul itself. To care for the body is to honour the soul it shades.

So the next time you notice your shoulders tightening, your voice trembling, or your breath quickening -  pause. Ask not just what is happening to my body? What is my soul trying to tell me?

Because the body is always speaking, the question is: are we listening?

221. Energy Management 3: Negative People and Information Overload

This article continues my Energy Management series, which many of you have found valuable. Today, I want to explore two hidden energy drains: negativity and information overload.

 1. People Addicted to Negativity

Have you noticed how most news stories are negative — disasters, crimes, conflicts? Some people seem addicted to replaying these stories. Talking about them gives the illusion of control or knowledge, but the result is the opposite: they remain stuck in a low-energy state.

For some, negativity feels familiar — perhaps rooted in childhood — and it becomes their “comfort zone.” The hidden benefit? It provides an excuse not to take action.

Personally, I’ve noticed how draining this can be. I might start the day energised, but after just a few minutes with a negative person, I feel depleted.

 2. Information Overload

In today’s world, we are bombarded with information. Our curiosity pushes us to consume more — scrolling, reading, listening. But too much unfiltered information leads to what I call information obesity.

Just like overeating the wrong foods, overconsuming useless information makes us sluggish. We spend time and energy but gain nothing of real value.

 My Takeaways

 Through trial and error, I’ve learned two rules that help me protect my energy:

• Avoid negativity – limit time spent with people or media that pull you down.

• Consume wisely – focus only on information that leads to action, results, or growth. For example, you can gather information about marketing that can lead to improved sales of your products/services, etc.

When you guard your attention, you guard your energy — and that’s the foundation for a productive, fulfilling life.

Click the link below to read more on this topic

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213. Essential Leadership Qualities and Knowledge

The benefit of developing leadership qualities is to lead our lives and not be pawns in someone else’s game.
Essential Leadership Qualities are:
1. Good communication skills
2. Ability to prioritise
3. Strategic thinking and the ability to calculate the short and long-term consequences of our decisions
4. Flexibility of mind and interpersonal relations

Good leaders should know about:
1. Their own and people’s psychology and how to maximise our/their potential
2. How to make decisions
3. How to set up goals
4. How to create the vision and mission of their lives/business

I am a born leader, but I lack some knowledge and skills. My weaknesses have always been my authoritarian communication style and a lack of flexibility, which are connected to my background and limited knowledge of people's psychology.

I was born in the Soviet Union, and having an authoritarian communication style was the norm there. It was even perceived as a strength. Now, I live in the UK and this so-cold “strength” works against me.

Developing interpersonal flexibility has been on my list for skills development for a long time. It is very hard to change one’s nature. Some people who know me from my childhood keep telling me that I will never change.

BUT, as I am an optimist by nature, I want to believe that I can develop a different communication style and become more flexible in interpersonal relations. Below is the list that motivates me to continue the hard work on myself:
1. The more flexible I am, the wider my choices can be
2. Communication is a transactional process; it is about giving and taking
3. When I don’t want to be flexible, I ask myself: Why am I like this? What are my fears? What will I lose if I am flexible?

I am curious to know your thoughts about leadership skills.

Olga Smith
www.batcsglobal.com

210. How to deal with condescending people in professional settings

Deal with people who challenge you immediately. Challenge them by saying, for example, I find your tone condescending, and I am not prepared to continue this way.

This way, you will protect yourself and help the bully stop. Bullies, when not stopped, go into a rush and get high on the domination drug.

Work on your confidence. Develop a straight posture, open body language and good eye contact. Master your speech, namely, voice projection and articulation. Speak with authority and power in your voice, and you will be perceived as a confident person. You can master it with the apps Business English Speech and 4Ps, Power, Pitch, Pace, Pause.

If you look and sound confident, people will not attempt to condescend to you. Bullies usually attack those who lack confidence and who are too shy to reply to them.

Click the link below for tips and free content:
www.batcsglobal.com

207. 6 Rules of Decision Making

Decision-making is one of the most important skills we should master. Our well-being, prosperity, and happiness depend on this skill.

I have developed a set of rules that help me make good decisions.

Rule N1
Do not make a decision when you feel physically and emotionally weak.

Rule N2
Make sure that your body does not reject your decision. Control your brain and do not allow logic and mental powers to override your body and soul. Very often, mind-based decisions backfire because we humans are more complicated than robots, and our mind lives in our body; therefore, ignoring and neglecting our body and soul cannot lead to good decisions

Rule N3
Conduct a pros and cons analysis.

Rule N4
Control your brain and do not allow logic and mental powers to override your body and soul. Very often, mind-based decisions backfire because humans are more complicated than robots, and our mind lives in our body; therefore, ignoring and neglecting our body and soul cannot lead to good decisions.

Rule N5
Do not make decisions purely on your emotions. Emotions are not long-lasting, but decisions you make because of them can be. For example, I felt the urge to buy a beautiful and expensive bag, but if I cannot afford it, it can lead to frustration

Rule N6
Allow time to make a decision, but at the same time, set up a deadline by which you can take it to avoid rushed decisions and indecisiveness.

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202. Effectiveness

I have met many people who are always extremely busy, work a lot and at the same time cannot get ahead in life.
One of the reasons is the lack of effectiveness. People with ineffective behaviour patterns:
1. Jump into doing things that are of low value too soon
2. Work in an old-fashioned way, a way they are used to and reluctant to use modern/new tools
3. Do not have a concrete plan with deadlines
4. Unsure what they want and cannot set clear goals
5. Try to do most things by themselves and avoid delegating
6. Waste time on their weaknesses instead of building on their strengths.
7. Fool themselves and avoid facing reality.
8. Multitask and jump from task to task

How can we become more effective?
How about spending an hour a day thinking about our effectiveness? I usually think about my effectiveness before going to bed (make notes of what I want to achieve in writing) and when I just wake up and have my morning tea (edit my notes).
Once you know what you want to achieve write a detailed plan of how you want to achieve it and what resources you would need for that.
Another useful tip is to understand your energy levels and distribute tasks accordingly. For example, in the morning I prefer to concentrate on the most strategic/significant tasks. In the afternoon, I do routine things that do not require mental focus and concentration.
When dealing with people, the most effective way is to follow universal principles: love others as you love yourself, do not judge others and you will not be judged, etc.
To be effective, constantly examine the tools you use. Answer the following questions: which tool is effective and which are not, are there any new tools you want to try?

I believe that effective people work less and achieve more; they free their time to do things they love, rather than working 24/7 to perform tasks that neither lead them anywhere nor make them happy.

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168. How do you deal with people who don't communicate directly ?

As Oscar Wilde once said: “The first duty in life is to be as artificial as possible.  What the second duty is no one has as yet discovered.” In English-speaking, Anglo-Saxon culture people see directness as a form of aggression, and being polite is above being sincere. It is absolutely vital to pay attention to subtle details of communication. Learn and understand these subtleties if you would like to build good business and social connections.

I recommend the following instructions if you want to master the art of subtle communication:

Master your listening skills

1. Create eye contact with a speaker and look at them with empathy and a smile. People relax when you smile at them

2. Observe the way a person speaks. Namely intonation, tone of voice, speech speed, loudness, etc. You can learn more about it in the book Get Rid of your Accent Part Two, Advance Level, and the apps Fluent English Speech and 4Ps, Power, Pitch, Pace, Pause

3. Learn to read between the lines and pay close attention to words, voice, intonation, and facial expressions. Listen to the feelings and emotions behind words and voice, and respond to them appropriately

4. Imagine that you are a psychotherapist who is talking to a patient and that you are paid for listening

5. Allow a pause after what was said and connect with what was said

Work on your messages

1. Substitute negative words with euphemisms, for example instead of saying “poor” say “not bad”, instead of saying “I disagree” say “maybe I understand it differently”, and so on

2. Avoid giving orders, ask or request instead, for example, instead of saying “Do it!” say “Would you like to do it for me, please?”, and so on

3. Use a friendly tone of voice and intonation even when speaking about something difficult. You can master it with the app ‎Power, Pitch, Pace, Pause

More on Get Rid of your Accent | Elocution Lessons

167. Self-Motivation

1. Fall in love!
   Fall in love with another person! Psychologists suggest that we humans are run by our libido.
   Fall in love with a country!
   Fall in love with yourself!

2. Make a list of things to do every day. Start with doing very simple things: make your bed, clean your shoes, etc. After you have done simple things praise and reward yourself with something nice. Have a beautiful “me” time

3. Do a full health check-up and make sure your health is ok. If necessary see a doctor.

4. Start doing sports outdoors on a regular basis. It can be a power walk, a run or a stretch. Look at the sun and receive sun energy.

5. Make a list of things that will happen to you if you do not do anything. Imagine this picture vividly.
   After that make a long list of things that you like about this world and life in general and go on a sea holiday for 7 days.

6. Believe in yourself and that everything will be great.

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165. What should I not do for mental peace?

1. Don’t allow negative thoughts to control your emotions
   Be mindful. As soon as a negative thought enters your mind change it for a positive one and believe that good things will happen to you.

2. Don’t allow negative information in your brain
   Stop listening to the news (they are mostly negative and you have no control over changing them); avoid negative people and do not listen to them; avoid negativity on social media.

3. Don’t compare yourself with others
   Nowadays people are victims of clever marketing that makes them think they are not good enough unless they have a perfect face, a perfect body, perfect teeth, hair, etc. We have models like Kim Kardashian who helps big businesses to sell these fake ideals. Just know that you are unique and that is very precious and beautiful in itself.

4. Don’t just dream, think, or hope
   Act and make things happen. Educate yourself constantly and work all your life.

5. Don’t rush yourself
   If you rush too much you get stress instead of peace.

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164. Be in control and exude authority

Good barristers, politicians and business leaders sound confident, in control and have authority in their speech and voice. Can it be mastered? Yes, and I will explain how.

First of all, in order to achieve authority in your voice be in control of your breathing. Good breath control will bring energy to your voice.

Secondly, good articulation will help you sound clear, more energised and powerful. You can master it with the apps ‎Get Rid of your Accent UK1 (British English) or ‎American Accent App (American English).‎

Thirdly, avoid sounding monotonous and saying everything on one level of pitch. Change the pitch, power and pace according to the emotion/meaning of a particular message. We can recommend the app 4Ps, Power, Pitch, Pace, Pause if you want to learn and practice this technique.

To achieve authority, speak in a straightforward way and stress the key messages. To make the keywords stand out use a louder or quieter voice (depending on the meaning). Raise the inflection when saying keywords and vice versa, use downward inflection with unstressed words. Learn more about inflecltion and sentence stress in the apps ‎Fluent English Speech (British English) or Fluent American Speech (American English).

Finally, think about physicality and be well in control of your posture and gestures. Have a good straight posture and gestures that support your messages.

What is the best way to practice it? Listen to speakers like Winston Churchill. Watch courtroom dramas and note how effective barristers speak. Here is a practical exercise for you:

1. Read a speech out loud and record yourself.

2. Underline stresses keywords and mark pauses in the printed copy of the speech. You can learn how to do it right with the app Power, Pitch, Pace, Pause.

3. Read the speech again and record yourself. If necessary repeat this exercise a few times.

If you need help book a few elocution lessons.

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163. Impact of modern technology on our ability to communicate in person

I believe that since the introduction of smartphones and messengers like Whats Up, Viber, and others people prefer to text and send images rather than speak.

It has both advantages and disadvantages. The obvious advantage is speed and convenience. The disadvantages are that people lose the art of communicating in person and do not know how to enjoy it. They lose their confidence when they have to communicate in person. These people are at a disadvantage in moving forward in their careers. Successful salespeople, CEOs, MDs, and top Politicians must have amazing in-person communication skills.

To master communication in person I recommend:

1. Learning to speak clearly

2. Learning to communicate not only thoughts but also emotions and feelings

3. Learning to use non-verbal messages, such as eye contact, posture and hand gestures to support your verbal messages

Many students who take our elocution lessons often tell us that they want to become confident communicators. Feeling confident is expressed by your body language, voice and words.

I recommend apps ‎Get Rid of your Accent UK1 and ‎Fluent English Speech (British English) or ‎American Accent App and ‎Fluent American Speech (American English), and Power, Pitch, Pace, Pause if you wnat to master your communication in person.

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160. How can I defend myself if I am being roasted?

Deal with people who challenge you immediately. You might have people around you who cross your boundaries and act in a disrespectful way towards you. Do not bend, stick to your values. Challenge them back by saying immediately (not after 5 minutes, an hour, a day, or a week): ”I feel you do not respect me and I am not prepared to continue this way.”

Express your feelings without judging others. When I was a child, I was too shy to do that and felt like a victim who could not stand for her corner. Thanks to my father I developed the gear to confront people who cross my boundaries immediately.

If you have the courage to confront the bully immediately you will kill two birds with one stone: protect yourself and help the bully to stop. Bullies when not stopped go into the rush and get high on the domination drug.

People are very different. Some people have higher energetic levels and strong leadership skills and they know how to manipulate others. There are people who allow others to control and manipulate them. Why? There are secondary benefits of acting this way: if you allow others to control and manipulate you, you are not responsible, you can blame others for what happened to you and do nothing. This is the reason why victims often choose to be victims - they can do nothing and just put all the blame on the abuser. Then they have the masochistic pleasure of feeling pain and feeling sorry for themselves. Ask yourself a question: What are my secondary benefits to me if I do not deal with people who roast me? It could be keeping the status quo. You need to go deeper and ask why you need to keep this status. Maybe this status allows you to not challenge yourself and go the extra mile to defend your boundaries. A few sessions with a life coach might help you discover your secondary benefits.

I recommend working on your confidence. Develop a straight posture and open body language. Master your speech, namely, voice projection and articulation. It will help you to have authority and power in your voice,e and you will be perceived as a confident person. You can do it with the apps ‎Get Rid of your Accent UK1 and ‎Power, Pitch, Pace, Pause.

If you look and sound confident, people will not attempt to roast you because bullies are looking for people who lack confidence and who cannot reply to them.

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